Midweek Mumblings

So, I had to return to the mall to see if I could find a less expensive bathing suit than the one I bought a couple of weeks ago. I just can’t justify spending $117 on a two-piece suit (yeah, that’s right, and I can’t believe I just put it in writing). I have a perfectly fine one-piece that I wear to the pool when I take the girls. I don’t have to worry about any mishaps. But, I thought I’d like a two-piece to take with me on my trip to Sweden and, hopefully, Finland where my dad has an island. Now, this island is in the middle of the sea in the south of Finland. Lots of water. Lots of privacy. Lots of nothing. Who cares if I’m wearing a designer bathing suit to this place?! Hence, the dilemma over the exorbitant amount for this piece of clothing that I can’t even wear to the office. Since my trip to search for something less costly yielded nothing, as did the two previous trips, I decided I would compromise: I would return the bottom and keep the top. Makes a lot of sense, right? Well, I’m thinking I could pair it with shorts instead. I mean, am I really going to want to walk around in a revealing bikini bottom anyway? I’m not saying I’m body conscious. I’m just cellulite and jiggle conscious. Some would say “whatever,” and they would be absolutely correct. Who cares? I guess I still have hopes of looking like I never gave birth and never ate anything but cherries for lunch. But, the fact is, I DID give birth—twice—and I DO eat more than cherries for lunch. So, why do I care? I really don’t know. Media pressure. Perfectionism. Poor self-esteem. I don't know. So, I’m going to [try to] not care anymore. Especially on an island in the middle of nowhere.

And then I’m going to buy myself a pair of blue jean shorts.