OK, so my three choices are:

The Hemnes bed in black/brown from IKEA. Very simple, very inexpensive, solid wood.

The Brighton Coffee bed in dark brown from Crate & Barrel. Nice details, solid and engineered woods, reasonably priced.

The Plateau bed in dark brown from West Elm. Minimalistic (is that a word?) design, solid wood, very simple, no need for box springs. But do I really want to give up my box springs? And, it’s only available online ... but I really like it.
You see! So, what’s a girl to do? Maybe I'll just go buy myself that zebra-print chair instead. After I paint the foyer and hallway, of course.
Psst. What did you think I was referring to with that title?